It started by reading a viral blog post titled ‘men prefer debt-free virgins without tattoos’ as well as the follow up post. These blog posts for me brought up issues that I had growing up in the church as a young women.
I had flashbacks of being a young 14 year old girl entertaining a baby at church and being told by an older man that I would make a wonderful wife and mother one day. He meant it as the highest compliment but I received it with bewilderment and confusion. I had so many other ambitions besides marriage and children; and both were extremely far away.
One of my issues has to do with an ideology in church that emphasises that a woman’s place is at the home and nowhere else. I was taught and encouraged to be a good wife and mother one day.
One day your Prince Charming will come and you will be able to bring the gift of life into the world. This is the Lord’s plan for you as a woman. This is the path He has for you.
My issue with this ideology that you read in these blog posts has to do with our focus and application. We focus on men and potential future children rather than God and our application is that all women are created to do this and nothing else rather than recognising our different paths in life.
Our intense focus and narrow application in these issues can turn into legalism. At worst, our focus and application turns into idolatry because we put men and our families in the place where God should be.
Who are we, as men and women, in the church and what is our place in Jesus?
In the sight of God, as men and women, we are equal in our brokenness and equal in our need. As brothers and sisters in the body of Christ which is the church, we have an equal inheritance and value (Galatians 3:28). We are equal in Christ Jesus, only complete in Him and not in each other.
If we think or preach we are not complete as women without something else besides Jesus, then we are living in legalism and idolatry and not in Jesus.
A godly young woman does not equal to a debt-free virgin with no tattoos. A godly young woman does not equal to wife or mother or missionary or single or liberal or conservative or social justice warrior or independent or living at home. Our identity as godly women and men does not come from what we do but who we are rooted in.
We are rooted in Jesus, who saw the oppression of women in all physical, material, and social contexts, but valued women and offered them freedom because ultimately He saw them the same as men, equally lost and in need of a Saviour.
With all due respect, I don’t care what men prefer and it doesn’t matter whether they are godly or not. My value does not come from what men think of me. I do care though about Jesus and what He wants with me. This is where my value lies. This is where our focus should be.
Not all women are called to be wives. Not all women are called to be mothers. Some are called to be single. Some are called to be in ministry. Some are called to work hard at their job like everyone else. But we are all called to follow Jesus regardless, so let’s go and follow Him wherever He leads us.
Lots of love,